how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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