it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
