I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
