I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
