I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
