ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
