My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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