and you said cock pushups were impossible
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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