Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
