do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
The best revenge is premature balding
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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