im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
