would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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