We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You were trust falling into bushes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
