My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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