Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
