I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
