Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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