so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
sex in a hospital.. check
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize