I just pynch a tree in the face
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize