I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
