so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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