I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
