its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
