so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I lost the right to judge tonight
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
