that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
