I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize