Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize