I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
