Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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