i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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