Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
