Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
