dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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