I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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