Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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