After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
