I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
