I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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