so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
