As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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