Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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