forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
