A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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