Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
