what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
