Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
