I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
