We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
