she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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