new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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