I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
