Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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