So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
