So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
