and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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