she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you win again, gameday.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
