another moral hangover. fuck.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
