Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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