I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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