That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
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