u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
