And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
