You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
