I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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