It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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