Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
